“I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing; To live with Him in His house my whole life long. I’ll contemplate His beauty; I’ll study at His feet.” Psalm 27:4 MSG

I love when God takes a familiar passage and extracts a different perspective for me to see.

For us girls, the small tale of two sisters, Martha and Mary, tucked within the pages of Luke 10:38-42 ranks high on our list of well-known stories. And most of us have identified with one of their personalities as we’ve asked ourselves the question… Am I a Martha or a Mary?

But as I read this story again today, God drew me right into the last few words of Luke 10:40 (NLT)…

“Tell her to come and help me.”

For countless years, I’ve realized Martha’s expectations of Mary. But today I saw in a whole new light Martha’s expectations of Jesus. It seems Martha was extremely comfortable with audaciously telling Him how to handle one of His followers.

And goodness, how many times do we do the very same?

Yes, there are legitimate requests we have for the people in our lives, but oftentimes our requests wrap into a neat, little package with a tag that reads: My expectations Lord.

We all have expectations in life and they’re easy to impose on others. But expectations become unrealistic when we place excessive weight on them.

And if we’re genuinely honest with ourselves, unrealistic expectations root in our heart from our own selfishness. They’re all about me, me, and me.

Jesus, tell my mom to help me more with my kids.
Jesus, tell my husband to help me around the house.
Jesus, tell my boss he should have given me the promotion.
Jesus, tell my friend she should text me daily.

When selfishness is left alone, it breeds self-pity, anger, envy, resentment, and comparison. I can see Martha now on that day in Bethany and she was probably a little huffy at both Mary and Jesus.

But that is exactly why Jesus gently put Martha in check. Her expectations of them were based on her immediate focus — what she deemed as important — fussing over domestic duties rather than learning from the Messiah.

And for me, I think God made verse 40 jump off the page because He knows how I wrestle with expectations placed on me.

Because let’s face it… there’s always someone willing to tell us how to live our life — what to do with our time, money, career, children, ministry and the list goes on and on.

Unrealistic expectations laced with guilt trips have exhausted me for years. And I lived through some unnecessary and grueling challenges trying to live out someone else’s expectations for me before I wised up.

So bending the ear of Jesus with my expectations of Him when it comes to others is the last thing I want to do.

And what if Mary or Jesus had listened to Martha’s request?

Martha’s expectations would’ve brought Mary to the kitchen, when her heart longed to be at the feet of Jesus.

And Mary would’ve lost a little of herself that day. Because trying to live out others’ expectations robs bits and pieces of our lives.

I never want to be someone who drowns out the voice of Jesus in the lives of others. And I don’t ever plan to let anyone’s expectations keep me from studying at the feet of Jesus either.

So how can we make sure we’re not imposing or listening to unrealistic expectations in our lives?

Tune into the Holy Spirit and focus on the expectations Jesus has placed in our lives, not others. Mary chose that kind of focus.

And when we do? We live out the words I love from Jesus in vs. 42. “There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (NLT)

For years I was a Martha consumed with domestic duties. But God has morphed me more and more into a Mary. And today if Jesus came to my home, I’d be sitting at His feet hanging onto every word He said.

Girls, the food and dishes can wait, our family and friends’ expectations can wait, and our expectations of Jesus when it comes to others don’t really matter. Because what we expect for someone’s life, perhaps it’s secondary to His will for their lives. And praise God, it will not be taken from them.

Dear Heavenly Father, examine our motives when we place expectations on others and on You Lord. And free us from the struggles of unrealistic expectations that get placed on our lives way too often. Gently rebuke us like You did Martha so we never miss the opportunity to take the front-row seat to study at Your feet. In Jesus’ name. Amen.