“…but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:11-12 (NKJV)

I remember the very day I established my criminal record. I can still see my five-year-old little self standing in the toy aisle begging my mom to buy me Colorforms© — the reusable, vinyl stickers designed for kids to create scenes on the designer boards they came with. But begging incessantly didn’t stop my mom’s repeated, No’s!

But for some reason on this particular day, NO wasn’t an answer I was willing to accept. And a little, conniving voice kept yelling in my head… Well, if you want them, it’s okay. Just go ahead and take them!

So I waited until my mom rounded the corner to head to the next aisle. When she was out of sight, I looked left, looked right and then quickly opened the box. I peeled a few stickers off of the board they called home and hurriedly stuffed them in my pocket. I shut the box and pushed it way back on the shelf. 

Normally, I was a pretty good kid who hardly ever got into trouble. My parents took me to church and I knew what God expected from me at an early age. I had a healthy fear and respect for my parents, grandparents and any adult in-between.

Trust me… my parents dished out discipline just as often as my mom dished out mashed potatoes in her rural home.

So do you think I knew better than to steal a toy? You better believe I did! 

That’s exactly why those thin, vinyl stickers which virtually had no weight at all, felt as if I had dumped heavy stones in my pocket.

And why I eyed the cashier closely to see if she was going to expose my devious deed.

And the very reason why I kept my hand on my pocket to “hide them” the whole ride home in the car until I stashed them in my closet as soon as I set toe in my room.

I stole those stickers and should’ve been happy as a lark (even though I never thought of stealing the board I needed to play with them on). But I had no desire to play with them anyways, let alone even look at them. 

My closet seemed to be looming larger than life itself just waiting to tell on me. I was petrified. And as I said my bedtime prayers, God’s still, small whispers ushered in my heart of how wrong it is to steal and my guilt laid as thick as my nighttime quilt.

I couldn’t take it anymore and deciding to face my biggest fear, I called my mom into my room. And with sweaty palms I flung open my closet doors, grabbed the stickers, told her the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God. 

But you know what? Even though I got punished and my mom and I prayed a forgiveness prayer with God, I had a huge weight lifted off of me. The cat was out of the bag and I could live my normal care-free days as a child again! My mom forgave me, God forgave me and I forgave myself.

Conviction leads us into repentance and God forgives us. But how often as adults do we neglect to forgive ourselves?

Children are good at letting the guilt go, but for adults, it’s sometimes one of our biggest struggles.

Christ’s work on the cross freed us from the chain of guilt and God doesn’t intend for us to live enslaved by it.

Satan wants us to feel guilty, wants us to feel as if God really didn’t forgive us. But Jesus called out Satan for what he is — “the father of lies.” (John 8:44 ESV)

God’s close to His children and He is still speaking. Like Elijah in our Scripture verse, we sometimes expect our big God to speak through the loud moments in life… the wind, the earthquake, the fire… but most of the time His still small voice comes in the form of a whisper.

So friend, what is it in your life today that you might need to confess to God? Or what kind of guilt are you harboring for sins God has long-forgiven you for?

I encourage you today to take whatever is holding you down, and lift it up to the One who will forgive and forget and who nailed guilt to the cross.

Dear God, we pray for us to shut down the hisses of Satan and chase after Your still, small whispers. Lord reveal to us the actions in our lives where we need to seek repentance and Lord when we do, help us to shed our guilt at the foot of Your cross. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.