My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness (James 1:19-20 CSB)

I’d love to be able to dance. Not the typical sway back and forth boring middle school dance either. I’m talking about clenching a rose between my teeth while breaking out into a passionate tango. But I wasn’t gifted with rhythm or graceful moves.

Now that doesn’t mean I refrain from cranking up my tunes, bustin’ out some moves and dance like nobody’s watching while I clean my house either. Eric just smiles and Jacob… well… he’s the mortified teenager he should be at that very point. He can tell his therapist about it later in life.

I mean for goodness sakes, my siblings and I have vivid images of waking up early on a Saturday morning to our mom in her robe and slippers pushing the sweeper across the house singing alongside Loretta Lynn’s “Coal Miner’s Daughter” on the record player. And I guess we turned out okay.

But I noticed something while reading James 1:19. I realized God has choreographed a rhythm for His people whether they have natural rhythm or not.

Quick — Slow — Slow

Quick — Slow — Slow

Quick — Slow — Slow

Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger

So I imagined stepping to this very beat. A beat where graceful moves naturally emulate if we follow it closely.

A quick step to the left… listening to what God has to say.

Then take two, slow steps to the right… speaking with His words while controlling our emotions as we interact with those He puts in our lives.

But the reality of my life is I don’t always dance well in God’s rhythm of grace either.

Sometimes I find myself skipping to the beat of a classic switcheroo — slow to listen to God, yet quick to speak words I’ll regret; quick to erupt with angry emotions.

And there I find myself living out the very words of verse 20 — my human anger does not reflect the goodness of God’s character in my life.

A few weeks ago, Eric and I encouraged Jacob to be honest about his feelings in our conversation. I’m not going to lie. I did not like his answer. But I didn’t like how I quickly reacted with anger after asking him to be honest. It wasn’t one of my proudest mom moments and I apologized profusely.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:26 that being angry isn’t the problem. We’re allowed to feel anger and shock at those moments where someone is taking a conversation in the direction we don’t like. Or where life is breeding injustice; when things just don’t seem fair. But God looks at how we handle ourselves in the process.

It’s easy to jump to conclusions or form an opinion before we hear the rest of the story. Fuming with our warranted anger feels better sometimes than listening with patience and silence. It’s the rhythm of human nature. But it simply can’t stay there as our excuse.

God calls us to listen to Him so we can listen well to others.

I didn’t listen well to Jacob. I didn’t apply grace. Instead, I applied anger and frustration which are never a good mix. And I know better.

When we apply God’s rhythm of grace in our lives, we glorify Him.

So maybe there’s someone in your life where you find yourself struggling with this very rhythm. Family? Friend? Sister in Christ? Co-worker? Neighbor?

I want to encourage you just like I’m encouraging myself. The next time attitudes, behaviors or conversations start to get awkward, heated or uncomfortable, ask God for His rhythm of grace. Quickly listen to the Spirit, ask Him to put His hand over our mouth if we have to and lead us into quenching the fires of anger.

And if we do allow ourselves to go too far and get angry. We need to live out the rest of Ephesians 4:26 (CSB), “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Jacob knows I will not go to bed angry. I hate how it makes me feel.

So you’ll find me at his bedside having the heartfelt conversation full of grace I should’ve started from the beginning. A conversation that brings the harmony to our relationship.

And wow… imagine that… if I had only listened to God in the first place.

Is there someone in your life today you need to have a heartfelt conversation with? I encourage you sweet sister to make the first move. There’s much freedom in releasing the chains of anger and dancing in God’s rhythm of grace.

Dear God, finding Your rhythm is sometimes a battle and struggle for us when dealing with the people in our lives. It’s easy for our mouths and hearts to drown out the beat You long for us to hear. The beat of grace. Teach us to be careful with our words and reactions so we can glorify You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.